i'll touch it if you want me to, but how is up to you..

And so, it is finally here - my 'little' project that I have been workin on for the past few months.

2233615

When the idea for this formed into my head, I didnt know what I was starting - it was simply something I saw a need for, for girls like me - alternative girls, if you will. Ones that do not fit the mould, ones that think it is ridiculous to spend thousands on clothes - ones that are sick of the skinny bitches in women's magazines..

So I created a magazine. Online, free digimag. When I unveiled it to the world, I did not know what the reaction would be. And it has been VERY positive! Im still in shock when girls message me and thank me for creating VIXXEN, because that is what they need and that they love it.

So, I present you with VIXXEN, the magazine for alternative girls in South Africa.
www.vixxen.co.za

I hope you guys like it..

soet slaap sonder sonde..

This week has been rather chilled at work.. and my bosses are away today, so Im doing as little as possible.. There have been some interesting developments on my side.. mostly to do with boys.. I met a really rad boy, we have been hanging out a lot, we click and I love his company.. but I dont know if Im interested in him like that.. Actually, I dont think Im interested in anyone. I have been single for a while now, and after my failed engagement, Ive become much more picky regarding who Id actually give the time of day to.. and I just get put off so easily.. I think it's perhaps because I havent met anyone that has really blown me away? I cant wait for my sister to get here! Its been a long, shitty year and I know she will make everything better, like she always does..

this could be anywhere in the world..

weee! bosses out of the office for half of today and they leave to go away on thursday! yay!

my 'business venture' launches on 1st november and Im super amped to show all my hard work.. also, we have a little room next to the garage that Im going to convert into a chill area/ office for myself and paint the walls pink with black zebra stripes :P

its so amazing how sometimes, at the most unexpected of moments, you meet special people.. been happening to me a lot lately.. and its wonderful!

this morning i was looking for something to listen to on my way to work, and i dug up my old punk cds from when i was 15.. wow, i love it, brings back such good memories :)

my friend's band tours europe quite a lot, so iv managed to convince him to buy me a HOLGA and a POLAROID.. mind you, i can vignette normal photos to look like theyre taken on a holga, and i can put a polaroid border to make em look like they were taken on a polaroid.. but its not nearly as authentic, is it?

arg i burnt myself on my hair straightener today AND my one wisdom tooth is hurting.. i know i should probably go take my wisdoms out, but im a sucker for pain!

ohhh and my beautiful little sister will be here on 11th december, which is a month an a half away :) and one of my childhood friends is pregnant and getting married!! :love:

this was taken about a month ago at a friend's GUITAR HERO party (which totally convinced me not to ever attemt to sing again):

ek fokken weet ek is verkeert

i am now probably totally gonna over-post.. i go from one extreme to the other..

i just thought it might be fun to share what a day in the life of an arti director/ graphic designer for a magazine is like..

07h00: alarm goes off. press snooze. continuosly.
07h15: let cat in to cuddle
07h50: finally get up
07h55: have morning coffee and a smoke
08h05: start getting ready
08h25: drive to work
08h30: arrive at the office
08h35: check mail, magazine sit, magazine fecebook and tasks to be done
09h00: start working, cup of coffee in hand
10h30: buy food from the sandwich guy
10h45: irritate co-workers
10h55: work diligently and chat on MSN and SKYPE
12h00: go home for lunch
13h00: back to the office
15h00: make more coffee and try convince other designer to go for a smoke so i can irritate him some more
16h30: start bumming around and slacking off
17h00: leave the office
17h05: home, have a smoke and go online
18h00: more work (freelance stuff, etc)
20h30: TV
23h30: shower and bed

pretty uneventful stuff..

if the shoe fits..

his post has been screaming to be put up for a while now..
This year I have learned so much about life, so bitter lessons, some sweet..
- love is never enough to make you stay with someone
- people dont change
- some people will never achieve anything in life
- the hardest part is letting go
- .. but sometimes it needs to be done
- im happier without you..

lately, i have been working so hard, 2 weeks straight, needed a break so badly, finally got this weekend to party and sleep.. i went on a date, it didnt work out, then the boy saw me kiss someone else and is now sulking.. who cares? he doesnt own me. i am digusted with males lately.. friday night i drove through to edenvale and picked 3 friends up and we set off to watch FOKOFPOLISIEKAR they were amazing as usual..



had the worst hangover on saturday and then went to go watch the FOKOFPOLISIEKAR movie ..



it was so well done, im so glad it has won awards!! and then hung out with my best friend for dinner in Greenside, and met up with some old friends, which was pretty rad..

I spent yesterday with a rad boy and we watched INGLORIOUS BASTERDS.. so yourselves a favour and go watch it guys!

.. and im a silly billy..

im drunk of your kiss, for another night in a row..

I know I should update more often and I have resolved to do so!

There is really nothing particularly new this side, though. My life has become a format - work through the week, drink and sleep on the weekends..

I am starting a diet and exercise as of tomorrow - I gained weight last July and havent even tried to trim down! So I went to a dietician on Thursday and got a diet. With it, I need to also do 45mins cardio about 5 times a week. Im actually pretty amped.

My work is going very well, Im really happy there. We moved offices 1st Sept and our new office is so rad, and actually very inspiring to work in, etc.

I have also started a new venture - you could call it a business one, although the aim is not to make money.. but more on that when it is launched on 1st November!

My sister is arriving in 2 months, and i cannot wait! She is coming on 11th Dec, so Im picking her up from the airport, taking her home, and going back to work (it's my last day of work) and then the fun begins! Due to changes in the flights, she is only staying til 29th Dec, instead of 4th Jan, but its ok - we will have fun regardless..

I have been having recurring dreams, where a plane crashes close to me.. Also, Im in Bulgaria, looking at the gorgeous buildings, and forget my camera!!

Last Saturday I turned 24. And it was such a special birthday :)
So here is a bit of a timeline:

3rd Sept 1982: Mama and Papa get married.

3rd Oct 1985: one Tsvetina is born to Lazarina and Nikolai.

6th Dec 1995: Family arrives in Johannesburg, South Africa for the first time. It is so mark years of financial struggle and adapting to a different culture, but at the same time, a strengthening of the family.

25th June 1996: I go back to Sofia to visit. For the last time for the next 7 years.

November 1998: Finished primary school.

January 1999 - November 2000: High scool, grade 8 and 9 at Randpark High. Geek of note, not fitting in at all.

January 2001: My life is to change forever when I enter a private school, where I become more outgoing and 'cool'.

March - April 2002: Art tour to Europe - amazing 2 weeks in Spain, France and Italy.

July 2003: Back to Bulgaria with Mama and Papa for the first time in 7 years. Surreal and amazing.

November 2003: Graduate from high school

2004: Work at skate shop and music shop; gap year. One of the best years of my life. Also the year when I met and fell for my fist love.

Feb - June 2005: College, hate it so much!

July 2005: Back to Bulgaria for a visit, as well as Athens. Down to 40kgs, sleeping too much and crying.

End of July 2005: Full nervous breakdown, dropped out of college

August 2005: Anti-depressants that saved my life. Embark on what is to be a 1 year relationship.

Feburary 2006: Start college again - at VEGA. Amazing.

September 2006: Ended 1 year relationship.

October 2006: 21st birthday with close friends.

November 2006: End of first year at VEGA

February 2007: Start of Second year at VEGA

March - April 2007: Visit to Bulgaria. Start dating boy from college.

May 2007: Start work at a video shop, while still studying.

November 2007: End of Second year at VEGA

January 2008: End relationship (10 months) and end of video shop work.

February 2008: Third year at VEGA.

July 2008: Bulgaria and Athens.

August 2008: Meet the love of my life. Engaged within 2 weeks. Crazy to others - a natural progression to me.

November 2008: End of Third and final year at VEGA and Internship.

February 2009: Graduation - 3 years of blood, sweat and tears, accumulating to a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Creative Communications, Specialising in Creative Brand Communication, with a major in Graphic Design. What I have wanted to do since I was 13. Also, end engagement. Hard, horrible, lonely time, but know its for the best.

May 2009: Begin work at MAVERICK PUBLISHING.

August 2009: Start a new business venture.

October 2009: 24th birthday.

the story so far..

I can't remember the time or place
Or what you were wearing
It's unclear about how we met
All I know, it was the best conversation that I've ever had
'Til this day I've never found someone
With eyes as wide as yours
I've been searching up and down this coast
Overlooking what I need the most

Did you notice I was afraid?
I thought I'd run out of things to say
Two more hours until today burns this away
And it starts all over again

The sky will never look the same again
'Til you show me how it could be
The sky will never look the same again
'Til you show me how it could be

And everything else is irrelevant
To the story so far
A coincidence that you look like her from afar
Is it true that you like to sleep alone?
Or is it what you just tell everyone?

Did you notice I was afraid?
I thought I'd run out of things to say
Two more hours until today burns this away
And it starts all over again

The sky will never look the same again
'Til you show me how it could be
The sky will never look the same again
'Til you show me how it could be

Until you show me how it could be
Until you show me how it could be

And when the world turns over
I'll keep my ears to the wall
And when the world turns over
I'll keep my feet straight on the ground

Did you notice I was afraid?
I thought I'd run out of things to say
Two more hours until today burns this away
And it starts all over again

The sky will never look the same again
'Til you show me how it could be
The sky will never look the same again
'Til you show me how it could be

Until you show me how it could be
Until you show me how it could be