this is how i have felt for the past month and a half..
Can you take this broken boy?
And put the pieces back as one?
Though he has all of his toys...
He is never having fun
Because it's NOT ENOUGH
Now we're GROWING UP
We are giving up
We are MOVING ON
Because its not enough
We were growing up
We are giving up
And I won't hear what you say so...
SAVE YOUR SYMPATHY
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FOOLING?
Everything is dead!
NOW YOU WELCOME ME
TO A TOWN CALLED HYPOCRISY
Can you take this lonely girl?
I pick her up from off the ground
'cause theres no pride, to be found
WHEN YOU FOLLOW SHEEP AROUND
And no future here, no future
For us in this town
Because it's not enough
Now we're growing up
We are giving up
We are moving on
Because its not enough
We were growing up
We are giving up
And I won't hear what you say so...
Save your sympathy
Who do you think you're fooling?
Everything is dead!
Now you welcome me,
To a town called hypocrisy
THANK GOD I HAVE REALISED I KNOW BETTER NOW, AND I AM BETTER THAN THAT AND I HAVE MOVED ON FROM YOUR FAKE FACADE. i dont think you know me well, because if you knew me, you would know that no amount of begging can ever get me back. i am
better than you, because i am true to my friends. i am better thank you because i am a good person. do you really think you will ever be vindicated for what you have done?
i pity you.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
the murderous barber..
ah the brief is finally over.. i finally got some sleep.. and i watched SWEENEY TODD last night - it was amazing!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
i am ghost..
tra la la. i have not slept more that 2hrs ever night since saturday night. im on a caffeeine hight. yay!
my project is almost done at least!
soooo, im going to athens, bulgaria and london in july! YAY!! and then im moving to london in march next year.
i hate this country so much, i cant wait to get out of here! ;)
my project is almost done at least!
soooo, im going to athens, bulgaria and london in july! YAY!! and then im moving to london in march next year.
i hate this country so much, i cant wait to get out of here! ;)
Saturday, February 23, 2008
like i said, leave your baggage at the back door..
vodka. cigarettes. happy feet. dancing. carbar. friends. exhibitions. snapshots of precious times. no more crying. letting go of bad people.
having the most amazing friends. looking at the moon. rooftops. red bull. traffic. electro. coffee. indie. town. mac donalds happy meals with
hello kitty toys. sushi. all that remains. cupcakes. norma jean. laughter. happiness. staying awake and looking at the sky. being content with my decisions. not having to look after other peoples feelings for once.
this is what my life consists of right now.
having the most amazing friends. looking at the moon. rooftops. red bull. traffic. electro. coffee. indie. town. mac donalds happy meals with
hello kitty toys. sushi. all that remains. cupcakes. norma jean. laughter. happiness. staying awake and looking at the sky. being content with my decisions. not having to look after other peoples feelings for once.
this is what my life consists of right now.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
this conversation is over..
this is just my little ranting, i will not be tagging anyone in here. just want to get some things off my chest.
i did something that some people might see as bad and mean on friday night.. but try as i may, i just cannot bring myself to feel guilty about it.
everyone who knows me knows that i am a good person and i try be nice to everyone. however, there comes a point when i just have to have balls and stand up for myself. and if someone has ripped my heart out, and i want to tell them that theyre fucked up for doing that, then so be it. if you can dish it, you must be able to take it. simple as that.
i am beyond sick of fake people in my life and have neither the time, nor the energy to deal with such selfish cunts. i am me, and i have amazing friends, and i am fine now, i just simply cant care less anymore.
what i did might be percieved as mean and vengeful, but walk a mile in my shoes, and you will understand where i am coming from. i am not mean, i am just fucking fed up.
so i still stand COMPLETELY by what i did on friday.
i began my ascent at minus zero
you made sure or that
you tried to keep me down here
your complacency has been your downfall
nobody made u king of the world
and im here to dethrone u
so kiss the ring motherfucker
its my time, my time to shine
grasping for the straws as they fall
maybe u can make a splint for
ur broken ego, for ur broken ego
(chorus)
so i say thank u for the scars
and the guilt
and the pain
every tear ive never cried
has sealed ur fucking fate
did u take me for a fool?
or were u jus too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
hate can be a positive emotion
wen it forces u to better urself
u built me, constructed me desire, perfected me hatred
now im driven to be ten times better
then u think u are
piece by piece
ive built my walls and burned the bridges down
that lead back to people like u
so full of malice
sol full of scorn
u tried ur best to crush my spirit
u tried to steal my soul
u pushed my back against the wall
and i broke it down
i will not be broken, though i am the one that bleeds
i will not be broken, i am the one(x3)
i did something that some people might see as bad and mean on friday night.. but try as i may, i just cannot bring myself to feel guilty about it.
everyone who knows me knows that i am a good person and i try be nice to everyone. however, there comes a point when i just have to have balls and stand up for myself. and if someone has ripped my heart out, and i want to tell them that theyre fucked up for doing that, then so be it. if you can dish it, you must be able to take it. simple as that.
i am beyond sick of fake people in my life and have neither the time, nor the energy to deal with such selfish cunts. i am me, and i have amazing friends, and i am fine now, i just simply cant care less anymore.
what i did might be percieved as mean and vengeful, but walk a mile in my shoes, and you will understand where i am coming from. i am not mean, i am just fucking fed up.
so i still stand COMPLETELY by what i did on friday.
i began my ascent at minus zero
you made sure or that
you tried to keep me down here
your complacency has been your downfall
nobody made u king of the world
and im here to dethrone u
so kiss the ring motherfucker
its my time, my time to shine
grasping for the straws as they fall
maybe u can make a splint for
ur broken ego, for ur broken ego
(chorus)
so i say thank u for the scars
and the guilt
and the pain
every tear ive never cried
has sealed ur fucking fate
did u take me for a fool?
or were u jus too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
hate can be a positive emotion
wen it forces u to better urself
u built me, constructed me desire, perfected me hatred
now im driven to be ten times better
then u think u are
piece by piece
ive built my walls and burned the bridges down
that lead back to people like u
so full of malice
sol full of scorn
u tried ur best to crush my spirit
u tried to steal my soul
u pushed my back against the wall
and i broke it down
i will not be broken, though i am the one that bleeds
i will not be broken, i am the one(x3)
Thursday, February 14, 2008
tina's enlightment
things iv learned over the past month.. a long post, but worth the read
1. there are people who will pass themselves off as your friends, and will suddenly abandon you. this is because usually, they can use you for something - a lift, beer, a cheer-up, etc. the moment you're going through a rough time, they cant use you for anything, so they tell you to fuck off, or just stop being your friend. this is what we call a 'good-weather friend'.
2. sometimes, something hurts so much, it bleeds, it aches, it tears and you think you'll die from all the pain. however, there comes a time during that hurt that you find some inner strength, and it just stops hurting, just like that. its like when you injure yourself and you go into shock - its your defence mechanism.
3. there are people who dont know you, but pretend to like you, and then go tdo shit behind your back. these people have 'had a hard life', others will say. i have news - we all have hard lives, and that does not warrant one to be psycho. these people have no self-esteem, and want everyone to like them,
and see you as a threat. they have to go say shit - its what makes them feel better. your true friends, however, will see through the bull and not listen.
4. sometimes, you have to let someone go - you and that someone might not want that, but said someone comes with baggage that you cannot handle. do not feel guilty to let said one go - sometimes its better this way.
5. being there for other people is awesome, but you have to be there for yourself as well. you have to recognise who makes your life miserable and cut them off, regardless of their feelings, because you should do whats best for you, always. its hard when you have always done whats best for everyone else, but it gets easier.
6. in life, you have to grow a back-bone. people who can exhaust you for anything you have will take everything. it is up to you to not feel sorry for yourself, but to stand up for yourself and to tell them to fuck off. this is not being mean - this is protecting yourself, with reason!!
7. sometimes, when you think you cant take anymore, from the woodworks come the nicest, most amazing people in your life, who are truly there for you, without wanting something from you and using you. they are truly special and they dont care if you cry on their shoulder, or if you have no lifts for them or no beer money. they are the diamonds in the rough. appreciate them.
8. some people you have been close to for years might one day decided that they are going through a hard time, and need to take it out on someone. this someone might become you. it will hurt and it will bleed and you will wish your tear ducts would just close but in the end, you will get up one day and realise that others' problems are not your problems and that no one has a right to take their bullshit out on you. we all go though hard times, but only bad, selfish people take things out on their friends.
9. you might find that you have been very nice and considerate of someone's feelings for a long time, and put them first. when they hurt you, however, all bets are off - dont feel bad to be straight with them, and tell them how much they have hurt you. dont worry that they will feel bad. if they hurt you, you have a right to tell them they are bad, bad people.
10. no matter how much you love someone, if they dont return it, WALK AWAY.
11. once something is broken, its broken. trying to save it is a waste of time and effort. there are some rare cases in which things need to fall apart before they can get better (in regards to your relationships with people - be it love or friendship), but for the most part, gluing it together rarely ever works.
12. if someone has really hurt you, forgive them. but dont ever ever go back. once bitten, twice shy. dont be seduced into going back because you think they have changed - people dont ever change. if they hurt you once, they will hurt you again. and again. and again.
13. some people will claim they love you so much, that they cry about you. when push comes to shove though, they do something really hurtful that makes you realise that they dont give a damn about you. dont believe everyone who says they have cried over you.
14. in the end, you will realise that you have to look after yourself first and foremost. this is not selfishness. this is self-preservation. do what makes YOU happy, and dont be afraid to tell people off. dont go on with bad people in your life, who just bring you down. get rid of them!! NOW!!
this is just a bit of enlightment i have for everyone. if you know my story, you know who you are - the boy who couldnt love me and tore my heart out, the friend that stomped on it, tore it more and then spat on it as they walked away, and the silly, silly little immature person who decided to try ruin me - A BIG FUCK YOU TO YOU PEOPLE!!
but to all my amazing friends - I LOVE YOU!! especially kelita, max, lauren, lolly, jaz, christelle, my sister, jen, tyler, tess, tianabelle and justin - thank you so much!!
1. there are people who will pass themselves off as your friends, and will suddenly abandon you. this is because usually, they can use you for something - a lift, beer, a cheer-up, etc. the moment you're going through a rough time, they cant use you for anything, so they tell you to fuck off, or just stop being your friend. this is what we call a 'good-weather friend'.
2. sometimes, something hurts so much, it bleeds, it aches, it tears and you think you'll die from all the pain. however, there comes a time during that hurt that you find some inner strength, and it just stops hurting, just like that. its like when you injure yourself and you go into shock - its your defence mechanism.
3. there are people who dont know you, but pretend to like you, and then go tdo shit behind your back. these people have 'had a hard life', others will say. i have news - we all have hard lives, and that does not warrant one to be psycho. these people have no self-esteem, and want everyone to like them,
and see you as a threat. they have to go say shit - its what makes them feel better. your true friends, however, will see through the bull and not listen.
4. sometimes, you have to let someone go - you and that someone might not want that, but said someone comes with baggage that you cannot handle. do not feel guilty to let said one go - sometimes its better this way.
5. being there for other people is awesome, but you have to be there for yourself as well. you have to recognise who makes your life miserable and cut them off, regardless of their feelings, because you should do whats best for you, always. its hard when you have always done whats best for everyone else, but it gets easier.
6. in life, you have to grow a back-bone. people who can exhaust you for anything you have will take everything. it is up to you to not feel sorry for yourself, but to stand up for yourself and to tell them to fuck off. this is not being mean - this is protecting yourself, with reason!!
7. sometimes, when you think you cant take anymore, from the woodworks come the nicest, most amazing people in your life, who are truly there for you, without wanting something from you and using you. they are truly special and they dont care if you cry on their shoulder, or if you have no lifts for them or no beer money. they are the diamonds in the rough. appreciate them.
8. some people you have been close to for years might one day decided that they are going through a hard time, and need to take it out on someone. this someone might become you. it will hurt and it will bleed and you will wish your tear ducts would just close but in the end, you will get up one day and realise that others' problems are not your problems and that no one has a right to take their bullshit out on you. we all go though hard times, but only bad, selfish people take things out on their friends.
9. you might find that you have been very nice and considerate of someone's feelings for a long time, and put them first. when they hurt you, however, all bets are off - dont feel bad to be straight with them, and tell them how much they have hurt you. dont worry that they will feel bad. if they hurt you, you have a right to tell them they are bad, bad people.
10. no matter how much you love someone, if they dont return it, WALK AWAY.
11. once something is broken, its broken. trying to save it is a waste of time and effort. there are some rare cases in which things need to fall apart before they can get better (in regards to your relationships with people - be it love or friendship), but for the most part, gluing it together rarely ever works.
12. if someone has really hurt you, forgive them. but dont ever ever go back. once bitten, twice shy. dont be seduced into going back because you think they have changed - people dont ever change. if they hurt you once, they will hurt you again. and again. and again.
13. some people will claim they love you so much, that they cry about you. when push comes to shove though, they do something really hurtful that makes you realise that they dont give a damn about you. dont believe everyone who says they have cried over you.
14. in the end, you will realise that you have to look after yourself first and foremost. this is not selfishness. this is self-preservation. do what makes YOU happy, and dont be afraid to tell people off. dont go on with bad people in your life, who just bring you down. get rid of them!! NOW!!
this is just a bit of enlightment i have for everyone. if you know my story, you know who you are - the boy who couldnt love me and tore my heart out, the friend that stomped on it, tore it more and then spat on it as they walked away, and the silly, silly little immature person who decided to try ruin me - A BIG FUCK YOU TO YOU PEOPLE!!
but to all my amazing friends - I LOVE YOU!! especially kelita, max, lauren, lolly, jaz, christelle, my sister, jen, tyler, tess, tianabelle and justin - thank you so much!!
Friday, February 8, 2008
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