all i want for christmad is you..

wow, i havent updated for ages!! but its because i havent had internet..

basically, iv just been bumming around for the past 3 weeks and it has been amazing..

i want to kiss you on the cheek..

soooo, my second last day at work..

:(

i guess im tired of waiting, tired of waiting outside..

ah im struggling at work. im part hungover, part tired..

on friday we went to xai-xai for dinner and rohan was tanked by 10.30, so we went home. spent most of saturday trying to nurse his hangover. saturday night, i just chilled at home, and yesterday we went out for lunch with his mom, her boyfriend and his grandfather. then we went to his dad's place for dinner. all in all, a lot of food and a lot of booze..

what have i become..

the title of this post comes from a NIN nails song, Hurt, which the great Johnny Cash covered.. anyways, here is what my days at work are like:

get to work at 9.30. have coffee & a smoke. talk shit with jerome and kerryn. start up my laptop. check mail. see what needs to be done. go to pick 'n pay. have more coffee (i am currently at a tie with jerome for person who consumes the most coffee per day). go pee (i am currently the title holder for the most frequent urination). bother craig for work to do. run down to the car to get my mapbook for chris. hassle leigh-anne with my stories. eat kerryn;s lunch. have yet more coffee. hassle nick a bit. hassle fabian. go home at 4.30

Just because you're going forwards doesn't mean I'm going backwards..

so, work has been pretty productive this week, which is swell. been also getting up earlier!

last night, rohan and i went for dinner at our favourite place, and this morning, we went to fetch his car (finally) which should be working properly now. tonight we have dinner at his mom's, and then tomorrow night we are going to A NIGHT OF 1000 DRAWINGS - an exhibition.

in other news, my sister is in brussels this week, what a cool thing to do on your birthday. im slightly jealous..

we'll talk tomorrow..

i had a major hungover on friday, so i went to rohans and slept. then we went to dinner at our favourite place in melville, and then to the bo for the punk gig. as usual, i got way too drunk :/

yesterday, we got some DVDs froma rad place in melville, and i found TWIN PEAKS there! i was so chuffed. so we watched 2 episodes of that, gonna watch more soon..

today, i dropped rohan off at work and came back. im now bored and lazy..

it was my sister's birthday yesterday, so i phoned her, and she said yesterday was the first snow of the year. im so jealous!

Good time to roll on..

yesterday, after work, i rohan & i went to his mom's for dinner. then i went home and passed out at about 10pm! barely got up this morning!

i wanna move overseas sooooo badly. alas, we will have to wait til the economic crisis calms down..

Always remember the pact that we made - too young to die, but old as a grave..

ah another day of work :)

yesterday, my laptop was giving me so much shit.. i went home and downloaded a new virus programme and found 23 viruses! all is good now, everything has been fixed, yay! i just need to fix my CD ROM and my laptop is pimped.. then il buy a drawing tablet.. and later, i will sell the laptop and get a mac book.

on monday, rohan and i went out for chinese and then to my place.. we got THE USUAL SUSPECTS and THE EYE.. the first was awesome.. unfortunately, the latter sucked balls.. then, last night rohan came over and slept at my place.

today iv just been working my bum off and its almost home time..

Woo!

I'll be the one to show you the way
You'll be the one to always complain
Three in the morning come a bang, bang, bang
All out of fags and I just can't wait
Cancel the thing that I said I'd do,
I don't feel comfortable talking to you
Unless you got the zipper fixed on my shoe
then I'll be in the lobby drinking for two

Eighteen, balding, star
Golden, falling, hard

Look at the shaky's what's with the blush,
Fresh off the plane in my fuzzy rush
Everyone's gathered to idolise me,
I hate the way you talk your Japanese scream
It's been too long since I loved this shirt
You kick the bucket and I'll swing my legs
Always remember the pact that we made
Too young to die, but old as a grave

Eighteen, balding, star
Golden, falling, hard

I'm a gonna show the way
I'm a gonna show the way
I'm a gonna show the way
I'm a gonna show the way

Eighteen, balding, star 

spin out of control..

so, its my dads birthday today.. we are going out for dinner tonight yum yum..

friday night, rohan and i got very drunk in melville.. yesterday we chilled all day and watched DVDs. seven was brilliant (yes, i hadnt seen it til yesterday), in bruges was beyond awesome, and the hills have eyes was too heavy.. although iv seen it..

hit me with your best shot..

ah im so tired. iv had such a busy week!

tuesday night was spent with rohan at my place, watching EASTERN PROMISES.. yesterday, i had a shit day.. but he made it better.. and then we had dinner with his mom. i slept over and went straight to work this morning. then after work, i hung out with him for a bit longer, and then went home..

tomorrow, nick from injozi is taking us to GLAMOUR MECHANICS to watch a photoshoot. im amped.

we've all been sorry, we've all been hurt..

ah! first day of internships. it was so much fun! kerryn and i got there at 10, and worked on some stuff, and before we knew it, it was time to go home! was quite productive.. then we picked up rohan from work and kerryn dropped us off at my house. we got MAMMA'S BOY, wasnt as bad as i expected.. watching GHOST SHIP now, which is one of my favourites!

i cant think..

i cant even ATTEMPT to think of a title for this entry! im so exhausted, and so partied out..

the events started off with friday night at COOL RUNNINGS in fourways with everyone, to celebrate the end of college. then yesterday, rohan and i made a mission to china mart, it was awesome! then we went to melville, then to james' braai, then to jolly, then to christians. whew. went to bed at about 4am. iv been sleeping all day. and yet im still drained!

iv been having some weird design ideas as of late, that i wanna explore, so we will see what happens.

start my internship tomorrow woot woot!

if you lose me girl, you lose a good thing, thats one thing i know for sure..

aye, so im done with exams, now im praying that i can graduate!

i went to ART EXTRA last night, where rohan was working and then we went to dinner, and then to the bo for a bit.. some guy did an acoustic version of OUTCAST's HEY YA, which was awesome! i got drun k off a glass of wine and 3 beers and passed out before 12.. this morning, we went to MUGG & BEAN in melville and then to rohan's work.. im bumming around online now, chatting to my little sister, gonna pick up rohan from work at 6 and then we're going out with my friends :) and i get to spend all weekend with rohan woot woot!

we're nothing short of invincible..

ah! todays exam went pretty well, hopefully i scored high enough! tomorrow's exam seems pretty easy..

and OBAMA is president! yay! finally, no more republican bullshitters. no more FRANCO UNAMERICAN. thank god bush can never be president again! fucking idiot. and people pro the civil war, must be turning in their graves right now..

God give me grace and dancing feet, and the power to impress..

i have been studying SO hard.. i watched a movie called PARIS IS BURNING - one of our set works.. its really really sad. then i read BUTLER on the movie - honestly, i dont know why feminists have to use such big words.. i barely decoded what she was saying :(

im off to study more.. been up since 7.. way too early for me..

elections today

Like the angel, you are, left creating a lightness in my chest..

im in quite a pickle over academics - i failed one subject, and all my other marks are good.. if i dont have between 66% and 70% on both my exams, i will fail the year. WHICH CANNOT HAPPEN. so iv been studying all fucking weekend, nonstop. now is the first time im really having a break.

thursday was our college's exhibition, showcasing 3rd year and honours work. it went well, i think. except that there was no bar, only slushies with vodka in em.. and there were a few fights that night, including an honours student hitting one of the lecturers. not cool.

rohan helped cut my business cards, and then we went to the exhibition. he left at around 20.30 and then came back at 21:30 to pick me up, and we set off for rosebank., where his mom was having his birthday. then we went to bowls, which was closing. i was pretty drunk so then we just went home. my parents came to support me for once in my life, at the exhibition. it was quite nice..

all your words and all your actions don't mean anything to me cos i've cut you off..

sooo, this has been a long week. my portfolio was ready and printed on thursday (a first for me), but natalia's one had problems, so we had to reprint, after fixing some stuff up.. as we were leaving my house on thursday to print, i noticed that my car was driving weird, so we stopped at my gate and saw my left front tyre was FLAT!! eeeek.. so we went with natalia's car. at the printers, she got paranoid and checked her tyres - sure enough, there was a NAIL logged in one of them! anyways, we made it home..

friday night, rohan and i went for dinner, had 2 glasses of wine each.. then we bought more wine and i got VERY VERY drunk.. i woke up with a mother of a hangover on saturday, and we went to my place to watch FROM HELL and FUN WITH DICK AND JANE.. then we went to liam's party, and rohan got verrrrry drunk. then we stopped at the local pub for a beer (or 2) and then we went to bed.

this morning, i took him to work, had some coffee there and read the paper. then i got home, napped for 3 hours (glorious) and went for a goodbye dinner for our family friends.. it was loads of fun. now, everyone's asleep. bleh.. and i miss rohan..



my drunken baby:

We don't disappear just because your eyes are shut..

i am LOVING the new rise against arg!! that band is AMAZING!!

so, im working on my portfolio thats due on friday.. and i had a marketing assignment for today.. yes, it never ends.. but it will end in a few weeks!

rohan and i watched THE STRANGERS on sunday night, it was horrible - so good until you get to the end. worse than the ring and the grudge (american versions only, of course). COMBINED. urg.

some things you don't forgive, some things you don't forget, sometimes the fate you suffer is so much worse than death..

There, high on the watchtower
Keeping the peace
Whatever that means
Because you see the world through
Crosshairs and TVs, don't you

Ten foot walls built around us
White picket death
So quiet, so safe
But if we fall there will be nothing and no one to catch
So sit back and watch as we

Spin out of control
Spin out of control
Try to recover, but collide with each other
We spin out of control

Something I cannot change
I was born in a place
That lives by the sword
And thus to it's blade we're condemned
Don't you understand why we scream "no more"?

My dreams are of children
Orphaned by blood
Spilled at these hands
Here on the graves of the innocent
We raise our flag

Spin out of control
Spin out of control
Try to recover, but collide with each other
We spin out of control
Somethings you don't forgive, somethings you don't forget
Sometimes the fate you suffer is so much worse than death
We're way off course now and we're drifting out to sea
So cut the anchor on your heart to be set free

Spin out of control
Spin out of control
Try to recover, but collide with each other
We spin out of control

cant spend my life waiting to live..

wow, i havent updated in AGES! blah.. the past week and a half has consisted of taking family friends around jozi sights, working on VEGA
stuff, hanging out with rohan and trying to get some sleep.. nothing new here.. im waiting for rohan now, and then we're going for enchiladas
and movies!

Silence is a justified expression of my war ..

aye aye aye.. i actually got up at 5.30am this morning.. it was horrible. then my mom and i went to the airport to pick up the bulgarians.. then i went to college,
followed by a nap at rohans.. i just got home but im actually too tired to work on my designs right now..

nothing else on this side..

stand up and fight, stand up and fight..

this weekend was awesome - the pre-birthday celebrations started on thursday night, when rohan and i went out drinking (my favourite past time).. then on friday i went to vega and then christelle came over and the 3 of us drank some more.. friday night was awesome! (albeit some drama).. i had cupcakes and everything!

yesterday, stella, rohan and i went to some galleries, and we saw PRIDE and it was super awesome to see all the gay people.. i wanted to march too, but rohan didnt, and stella was just lazy. then we went home and watched some dvds..

this is true love:

My knuckles have turned to white, there's no turning back tonight..

oh. my. god. UNDEROATH were amazing!! the bands before hand were ok, except for crossing point, who were brilliant (we got there 5mins before they played) and STRAATLIGKINDERS who were great as well. it felt like the longest time ever, waiting for UNDEROATH to get onstage.. i tried to stand up on a chair to watch, i hate being small. im not sure why i wasnt in the front though.. we found a nice place by my friends, and shouted that we love jesus inbetween songs. all in all, it was FUCKING AMAZING!! max even got his cd signed!! poor rohan couldnt handle all the god talk. i wasnt a fan either, but i didnt care, cos of the band!!

hands down, the best 250 bucks iv ever spent..

Where this thing goes I'll never know, but all I know is packing bags is a remedy ..

TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT!! I WILL BE SEEING UNDEROATH!! FUUUUCCCCK I CANT WAIT!!

Stop saying that we're invincible..

so, the time is finally upon us! tomorrow night, i will be seeing UNDEROATH! it should be mentioned that they are one of my top 4 favourite bands. EVER. i am so stoked, and yet it hasnt hit me yet! and to make it even better, i will be watching it with rohan, max, justin and others! another cool thing is that THEY'RE ONLY CHASING SAFETY was my staple album for when i was in bulgaria last year, so it brings back awesome memories!!

the good times come, and the good times go..

woah! the past 24hrs have been awesome! i got rohan from ork and then we went to my place and made tacos! with soya mince and they were so yummy. then we watched KISS KISS BANG BANG and went to bed, and today we went shopping and then napped in the afternoon (god bless siestas!) and then we went to the exhibition he was working at..

dit was my pleseer..

yesterday, i went for coffee with rob, havent seen that kid in ages! and then to an exhibition where rohan was working, with all these arty farty people around.. i drank champaigne and pretended to like the photography, which was, in my opinion really CRAP.. anyways, then rohan and i went to melville for a bit. so much for not drinking, eh?

today we woke up and i took him to work, and im back at his place now, chilling til 15.30, when he gets off work and i get to see him again, and we're going to my place and spending the night, and tomorrow there.. as long as im with him, im happy..

how gay have i become? tsk tsk.

Verdoof.Vergiftig.Verskoon My..

im hyperventilating.. looking at jobs in london.. i realised that, for a south african position as a graphic designer i need this:

and for a job in london i need this:

can you feel your heartbeat racing, can you taste the fear in her sweat?

ah, so today was quite productive - i went shopping for toiletries and washed and cleaned my car, as well as unpacking some of my crap in the new house.. then i bought pasta and sauce and stuff for tonight - rohan's coming over and im cooking.. im so domesticated, its sad!

i also got 2 dvds:





granted, the second one's totally predictable, it has some really funny moments!

and we dance, in the santa carla twilight..

fuck, its good to be on holiday! i got drunk on thursday and friday and then on saturday, rohan and i just chilled all day, and he cooked me yummy food.. yesterday i just slept..

today i have to do SO MUCH shit, like wash my car, go buy stuff and finally settle into my house properly.. i dont know why though, cos rohan and i are moving in together in a few months.. speaking of which, we have told our parents we're getting married, and everyone seemed to take it well :) and then on saturday i stumbled upon the raddest wedding and now all i want is to play dress up! its such a cute and simple wedding!

wie sal vir my liefde maak?

ah! campaigns are finally over! we presented on tuesday afternoon and i proceeded to get drunk at bowls that night.. i spent the whole of yesterday with my rohan and we went to the zoo, it was so much fun! today i have to go in for feedback, peer evaluation and graduation photos.. bah..

but all in all, finally this shit is done.. i actually SLEPT last night, a good 12 hours too!!

now i can go chase sunsets..

familie wat nie blood is nie..

iv been at vega nonstop this whole week and iv had just about enough!! but, the one good thing was watching fokof at doors last night.. such good memories.. there was no mosh pit because doors sucks, but stella and i partied it up anyways :)

You're a classic disaster, with a knack of losing your exterior..

another sunday, another day spent at VEGA.. yes, this is the life of a sweatshop kid..

friday night rocked - we partied and drank our little livers off! saturday, we just chilled and saturday night we went to a house party.. it was so nice to see kyle and vanja again!

soon soon..

The games that you play, Princess, I've played and always win..

*sigh* another day at vega, more headaches.. the only highlight was seeing rohan, who came to visit me <3 the next few days will be hell.. BUT next friday, its FOKOF time.. finally, after 2 years! and stella is coming over for that!! 90 bucks that will be WELL spent..

x marks the spot..

aye yesterday was rather irritating, we had to present our creative concept 3 times! by 4pm, they finally approved.. i spent the eve drinking beer with rohan which was awesome. waking up next to him was just as awesome. god, iv become so super gay!

today i went to college a bit later as i had urgent stuff to do, and by the time i got there, my group had finished for the day so i got home, napped and chilled.. i really needed that.

now i know that love is:

.

you took me home, i drank too much, cos of you my liver's turned to dust..

this weekend was crazy! i spent the whole of friday dealing with the bank and the DMV!! then, i proceeded to party til 6am, sleep a bit and then move house.. today iv been at vega since 10, and i just came home..

i think i need a holiday again..

love is in the air, bitches!!

I've got the gift of one liners, and you've got the curse of curves..

this week has been utterly exhausting, and today has been the only day where i got to go home at 2pm.. after which, i proceeded to have a 'quick' nap, which ended up being 4hrs, so iv done nothing :(

*sigh*

we're moving house and im expected to help.. right in the middle of campaigns??

How does it feel to be on the recieving end of this one?

another day at vega, more torture.. i spent the day here yesterday - 9am til 8pm.. but thats campaigns for you. today we have strat review, and i just pray that we move onto the next stage, so we can actually have the afternoon off :(

but this makes me happy and inspired.. tara mcphersons one is the first one..

soet slaap sonder sonde vanaand..

im officially done with my essay. it took me two hours to read my notes and two hours to write it. and im over it. i just wanna pass, i dont care for anything else.

im tired and cranky and i have a long day ahead of me doing strat tomorrow..

if love is a labour, i'll slave to the end..

With the touch of your hand, I am whole again..

the title of this entry would've been corny if it wasnt ALL THAT REMAINS..

iv had a veryyy hectic week of campaigns. no sleep, or little sleep. and i managed to squeeze some beers in there on thurs eve (olive lounge) and friday (bowls).. oh, and some rather interesting escapades at DESMONDS on friday eve.. saturday i went to a shot-gun wedding.. it was actually quite sweet.. i managed to dance a bit as well..

today its time for some essay writing.. im freaking out. we have strat review for campaigns for tuesday and this essay for tomorrow, wtf?? i cannot manage..

when you were young..

i think this was one of the most rocking weekends iv had this year..

friday, stella came over at like 9.30am, we went to print (which turned out SO well), handed in my work and went for beer at old parks with lolly.. eventually, van and kyle joined. after that, we went home and cleaned the house and opened a biiig bottle of champagne for christelle's CROSSING POINT foto, which was published in THE MAIL & GUARDIAN.. then damien picked us up at 8.30 and we set off to ROCK BAR to party it up. MUUUUCCCCHHHHH fun was had, an appearantly, stella has never seen me that drunk..

on saturday morning, stella left and i went to get my mom from the airport. i was beyond hanging.. urg. in the afternoon i went to bowls, and then to dal's party, WHICH ROCKED THE CASBAH (well, the COCO BONGO).. it was awesome..

ROCK BAR FRIDAY:

Did somebody take your tongue?

i am finished with my design!! yes, true story..

and im ALMOST (ok, not really) finished with my creative.. good news, the crit con essay has been extended to 25th..

tomorrow, i will party like a madman..

my mom comes back on saturday!

With the worries that I'd give her in she told the worst of me
With my wanting just to hold your neck in my arms and feel me squeeze.
No I'm not going to give you what you want so if you please
The sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

Did somebody take your tongue?
In worries of the words that you couldn't say (that you couldn't say) saved them from
But I don't want to sleep without
so I bid to you goodnight,
Tonight, sleep tight, my love

The anxious through the calming storm you'll sit as you pray for rain
I'll touch it if you ask me to but how is up to you
No I'm not going to let you get up if you struggle willingly
I'll savor all your form to show you how and where i bleed

With all the words you say...you'll save

You were so well behaved
As you watched and made your way
A kiss for you engraved
You shift and stretch your legs
You were so well behaved
You were so well...
Who taught these tricks that make
...you were so well behaved

If the world stops turning girl you better not stop when I say
and there aint nothing you could do to cut me, cut me down
If the ground starts parting through the silence and the walk of the dead
Everything here dies alone...

But I'm not quite sure what you've been told
On labor day, Ooh, I'm not starting with you but the faint of heart while worries wait
But I'm not quite sure what this unfolds
On labor day, Ooh, I'm not starting with you but the faint of heart.

(With all the words you say)
Did somebody take your tongue?
In worries of the words that you couldn't say that you couldn't say...saved them from
(With all the words you say)
But I don't want to sleep without
so I bid to you goodnight tonight, sleep tight, my love. 

whatever i say is royal ocean..

for anyone who actually reads my blog, the previous post is from earlier today..

the title of this post comes from a DANCE GAVIN DANCE song, which iv had in my head for the past 2 hours.. so, i found out that my essay and mini project are due on monday.. that only leaves my design, which is almost done, and my creative, which i havent even started..

i think i might actually manage. i also think, that i might actually get some sleep tonight/ this morning..

im tired and im fucking cranky..

and this rocks:

take these misunderstandings..

i am now officially hyperventilating about these briefs.. i have my design one, which is 75% done (minus printing), an essay which i havent even started, another mini project, and worst of all - my creative development which we were meant to have started beginning of the year. *dies*

im considering missing a deadline or 2, but i really dont wanna have % taken off.. il try finish everything..

other than that, im much much better.. and im REALLY looking forward to friday with my stella, beer and CROSSING POINT!!

luister julle nie?

aye im feeling a bit better today.. actually A LOT better.. its weird, i felt like death for the past 2 days, and today all of a sudden i feel better..

i am now resuming work on vega shit i need to hand in on friday. as in, no sleep til then. or minimal sleep. what else is new?

watched HANCOCK with vanja today and had lunch and stuff.. was super nice, i love my vanja..

im hoping my mom will be back on saturday, but il only know for sure after tuesday :(
christelle is coming here on friday, brandon asked her to shoot CROSSING POINT's cd launch at THE ROCK BAR, so we are going there and shes sleeping over, im really excited!

then, next sunday, i cant hangout with vanja, cos she has a project due on the monday.. but, we have decided that the whole of next week, we're gonna party like rock stars, because its only the first week of campaigns, and after that we're gonna have to never have lives again cos its gonna be hectic..

this is fucking cool:

in the old times, it was not a crime..

im sick sick sick, i have only been able to puke today. thats it. i havent even been able to get out of bed. im sure i stink. but its ok, cos i cant smell it. hahahahha. so, i just found out that theres a bulgarian bar in new york and woah thats fucking awesome! represent! their menu only has bulgarian cusine, thats is heaven! http://www.mehanata.com/ - --> check it out. i found it by chance, while i was looking up stuff on evgeni/eugene - lead singer from GOGOL BORDELLO. which is SO the best band in the world. anyways, he DJs there! every thursday. i think new yorkians (?) are way too lucky..

.. and perhaps im way too high on medicine right now..