this aint no mecca man, this place is fucked..

im feeling more and more depro.. and sleeping too much again. i need to do some more design work to keep myself busy.. im just having
problems with life and love and shit..

i feel super lonely and unwanted and shit. and now, its not that time of the month..

in other news, i found a photographer who can shoot me for free for suicide girls. ah!

untitled 2..

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love at first fright..

so, i roped my boyfriend into taking some test shots for my suicide girls application. here are 4 i like:

i cant sleep, i cant dream..

iv been having really weird recurring dreams..

- trying to walk (always in bulgaria) but not being able to stand up, walking on my knees
- our old flat in bulgaria
- my sister
- my grans place and her sweets cupboard
- driving a car from my sister's place to my cousins'
- driving towards the western border of bulgaria, thinking its bordering athens
- plane crashes that i witness in bulgaria

its weird.. today im doing my portfolio, there are a few self-initiated editorials id like to do..

hey little girl with cash to burn..

ok, so lauren says i always have short posts, so im gonna try post longer ones in the future.. and more often..

tonight, lauren, vanja and i had a chicks night out, it was so nice, lauren always makes me laugh and vanja always keeps me in check, and im addicted to her cinicism (weird, i know)..

we had coffee and then watched this:

appearantly, it was a flop in america, but i kinda enjoyed it..

i kissed a girl, and i liked it..

so, iv been thinking a lot lately, and now that i've graduated, id like to so something iv always wanted to - become a suicide girl.. i was never comfortable with being nude, but now that im older im way more confident, and i dont mind it. the photography is extremely classy and i dont mind showing what my momma gave me.. i got myself a subscription on friday and have been looking at gorgeous girls ever since!!

so iv been trying to get in shape a bit, rohan did a test shoot for me on friday, its looking ok, has potential.. christelle will be doing shoots for me once she comes back from balito.. SG pays R5000 per set of pix, so its not bad!!

with you i never felt alone..

so, i passed my exam, thus i graduate in a month :)

other than that, nothing new here, didnt have a computer, modem and internet for ages *sigh*

been a long time..

it has been so irritating not having internet for the past 2 weeks!

a new year, new hope..

exam on thursday. hold thumbs.