tina's enlightment

things iv learned over the past month.. a long post, but worth the read

1. there are people who will pass themselves off as your friends, and will suddenly abandon you. this is because usually, they can use you for something - a lift, beer, a cheer-up, etc. the moment you're going through a rough time, they cant use you for anything, so they tell you to fuck off, or just stop being your friend. this is what we call a 'good-weather friend'.

2. sometimes, something hurts so much, it bleeds, it aches, it tears and you think you'll die from all the pain. however, there comes a time during that hurt that you find some inner strength, and it just stops hurting, just like that. its like when you injure yourself and you go into shock - its your defence mechanism.

3. there are people who dont know you, but pretend to like you, and then go tdo shit behind your back. these people have 'had a hard life', others will say. i have news - we all have hard lives, and that does not warrant one to be psycho. these people have no self-esteem, and want everyone to like them,
and see you as a threat. they have to go say shit - its what makes them feel better. your true friends, however, will see through the bull and not listen.

4. sometimes, you have to let someone go - you and that someone might not want that, but said someone comes with baggage that you cannot handle. do not feel guilty to let said one go - sometimes its better this way.

5. being there for other people is awesome, but you have to be there for yourself as well. you have to recognise who makes your life miserable and cut them off, regardless of their feelings, because you should do whats best for you, always. its hard when you have always done whats best for everyone else, but it gets easier.

6. in life, you have to grow a back-bone. people who can exhaust you for anything you have will take everything. it is up to you to not feel sorry for yourself, but to stand up for yourself and to tell them to fuck off. this is not being mean - this is protecting yourself, with reason!!

7. sometimes, when you think you cant take anymore, from the woodworks come the nicest, most amazing people in your life, who are truly there for you, without wanting something from you and using you. they are truly special and they dont care if you cry on their shoulder, or if you have no lifts for them or no beer money. they are the diamonds in the rough. appreciate them.

8. some people you have been close to for years might one day decided that they are going through a hard time, and need to take it out on someone. this someone might become you. it will hurt and it will bleed and you will wish your tear ducts would just close but in the end, you will get up one day and realise that others' problems are not your problems and that no one has a right to take their bullshit out on you. we all go though hard times, but only bad, selfish people take things out on their friends.

9. you might find that you have been very nice and considerate of someone's feelings for a long time, and put them first. when they hurt you, however, all bets are off - dont feel bad to be straight with them, and tell them how much they have hurt you. dont worry that they will feel bad. if they hurt you, you have a right to tell them they are bad, bad people.

10. no matter how much you love someone, if they dont return it, WALK AWAY.

11. once something is broken, its broken. trying to save it is a waste of time and effort. there are some rare cases in which things need to fall apart before they can get better (in regards to your relationships with people - be it love or friendship), but for the most part, gluing it together rarely ever works.

12. if someone has really hurt you, forgive them. but dont ever ever go back. once bitten, twice shy. dont be seduced into going back because you think they have changed - people dont ever change. if they hurt you once, they will hurt you again. and again. and again.

13. some people will claim they love you so much, that they cry about you. when push comes to shove though, they do something really hurtful that makes you realise that they dont give a damn about you. dont believe everyone who says they have cried over you.

14. in the end, you will realise that you have to look after yourself first and foremost. this is not selfishness. this is self-preservation. do what makes YOU happy, and dont be afraid to tell people off. dont go on with bad people in your life, who just bring you down. get rid of them!! NOW!!

this is just a bit of enlightment i have for everyone. if you know my story, you know who you are - the boy who couldnt love me and tore my heart out, the friend that stomped on it, tore it more and then spat on it as they walked away, and the silly, silly little immature person who decided to try ruin me - A BIG FUCK YOU TO YOU PEOPLE!!

but to all my amazing friends - I LOVE YOU!! especially kelita, max, lauren, lolly, jaz, christelle, my sister, jen, tyler, tess, tianabelle and justin - thank you so much!!