How do you want me to live with it?

OF COURE i am not going to oppikoppi cos that would just have been too good to be true. id need like a grand for entrance (400 bucks!!), booze, food and petrol. and that is an insane amount of money, especially now that im beyond broke.. also, i have 4 projects due next friday, and going to a festival and having fun would be just ridiculous!

in other news, i am beyond sick of stressing about where i am going to live, and when i am going to lose my car. all i do is run around to meetings with lawyers. man, i wish i could rob a bank - i totally wouldnt even feel guilty cos banks are way too rich - il be like a modern day Robin Hood! I mean, the bank charges me like R10 per mini-statement!! good think i dont have ANY money in my account then, i guess?

i have 110euros left from greece, which i have hidden from myself, and am keeping for my portfolio. no, it wont be enough, but at least its SOME money towards it.

so, last night, my dad and i were talking, and we are leaving south africa as soon as i graduate. as in, the next day. as in, ASAP. im kinda glad that everything became super-shit this year, it really helps justify my hate for this country. no one overseas understands how shit and dangerous it is here! ever since iv been back, i havent even wanted to go out anywhere - iv gone out like twice in 2 weeks! (excluding movies) and the first time, i got lost IN TOWN. thats right, kids, its a miracle im still alive!

but yeah, so we are gonna escape to bulgaria, because, yes, its eastern european, but its much better than here, if you look at it practically. id even clean toilets like the gypseys, rather than stay here!

ok, enough bitching.

i have no inspiration for college work, but my creative development project is REALLY kickass.

also, i started feeling really sick yesterday morning, i have the flu now. bah. what can you do eh?

my mom will hopefully be back next saturday, which would be perfect, as i hand in on friday, and i can spend the whole ssaturday with her! i really really miss her. she says shes sick of bulgaria, but i secretly totally envy her! i cannot wait - in less than 6 months, il be back with my little sister!!

all this talk about immigrating - violet's parents are off to join her in London, so im excited to go for coffee with her mom beforehand..

oh, and im not going to WITCHFEST anymore.. but theres some stuff to look forward to, namely the week before my birthday:

- FOKOFPOLISIEKAR are doing a tour in jozi. il be seeing em live for the first time in exactly 2 years!
11 September - Back2Basix, Westdene
12 September - Doors Nightclub, Edenvale
il probably go to the doors one, and get bruises from the pit! been a while!

- UNDEROATH (one of my top 4 favourite bands. EVER) IN SOUTH AFRICA:
Friday 26 September: Bell's Sundowner (Alberton) with Unlisted, Crossingpoint, Straatligkinders, New Altum, and two local support acts chosen from the Support Search Show.

Saturday 27 September:
The Rustic Theatre on Main, Lonehill, Gauteng with The Narrow, Straatligkinders, Crossingpoint, New Altum and more to be announced.

all this will cost me R100 for fokof, and R280 per show for underoath, but stella might by me 1 of the tickets!
this is the only cash i will be spending on my self this year..

ok, im off to carry on with my design, and stuff myself with more flue pills..

PS - heres something else - you hurt me more than any boy ever has, and although im not a bitch, all i every think about when i see you, is REVENGE. i will never stop wanting to make you bleed the way i bled when you got up and left me in cold blood..




(this is only make believe)